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(by Arthur Bint, sport correspondent) International sporting star and Brampton Mile unicycle race competitor Horst Chuff (21) is a very lucky person this morning. "I cannot believe my luck", said Horst from his hospital bed. During the last stage of yesterday's gruelling race, his wheel hit a pothole and he lost control; struggling to remain upright he hit a lamp post and broke his collar bone, three ribs and two of his arms. Quick thinking Enid Welt (78) of Grim Place, Brampton, who was peering through the curtains of her sister-in-law Nellie's front window at the time, saw the whole incident, and with no consideration for her own safety rushed out with a cup of hot sweet tea. Emergency paramedic Winston Sirloin (19) arrived on the scene ten minutes later to find the situation well under control. "My expensive, state of the art cutting edge tea urn in the back of the van was not required, so all we needed to do was take the patient to hospital", said Winston. "Though normally we would not advise the public to administer unqualified medical assistance, thanks to Mrs. Welt's lightning reaction we were able to get Chuff to hospital without further delay as his underpants were obviously clean on that morning." Unfortunately Brampton Bugle photographer Reg Snipe was also injured when Chuff's trademark lucky brick was catapulted from its special harness by the impact of the collision, hitting him squarely on the back of the head and rendering him unconcious. *****  Artist's impression of international unicycle racing champion Horst Chuff during his triumphant gold medal winning sprint at the last Olympic Games. |
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